a chemist walks into a restaurant and says “i would like a plate of sodium acetate because that looks like NaC2H3O2 which looks like nacho lol.” the waiter says get the fuck out of my restaurant you god damned geek
Your body is made of the same elements that lionesses are built from. Three quarters of you is the same kind of water that beats rocks to rubble, wears stones away. Your DNA translates into the same twenty amino acids that wolf genes code for. When you look in the mirror and feel weak, remember, the air you breathe in fuels forest fires capable of destroying everything they touch. On the days you feel ugly, remember: diamonds are only carbon. You are so much more.
— (via wolfymates)
i hate small talk. tell me about your worn-out Vans, or which perfume samples you use to make you smell less terrible. tell me about how you don’t shower often, or how you spent all your money on lottery tickets when you turned 18 so now you live in a dumpster behind Burger King
I think the real question is why should a girl shave, preen and diet herself into oblivion for a guy in sweatpants and a t shirt who hasn’t trimmed his pubes in 3 years
Please stop reblogging this I’m scared a social justice warrior is gonna find it and realise I’m a boy
Honestly the fact that a guy says this is really something to me
And by something I mean it’s fucking attractive every other man on the planet should take notes